Happy Birthday Sam -hehe

Q - What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?
A - Drool.

Q - "Hey buddy, how late does the band play?"
A - "Oh, about a half a beat behind the drummer."

· Heard backstage: "Will the musicians and the drummer please come to the stage!"

Q - How do you know when a drummer is knocking at your door?
A - The knock always slows down.

Q - How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A - "Why? Oh, wow! Is it like dark, man?"

Q - How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A - Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.

Q - How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A - Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).

Q - How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A - Twenty. One to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins.

Q - How do you get 2 drummers to play in time?
A - Shoot one.

Q - Why'd the chicken cross the road?
A - To get away from the drum solo.

Q - What do you call someone who hangs around musicians?
A - The Drummer.

Q - What do drummers use for birth control?
A - Their personalities

Q - Why didn't the little drummer boy get into heaven?
A - Because he woke the baby Jesus!

Q - What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
A - Gifted.

Q - Why to bands need Roadies?
A - To translate what the drummer says.

· Two drummers walk into a bar, which is funny because you would have figured the second one would have seen the first guy do it. (Bar, get it!, Not a Pub)

Q - What do you call a Drummer driving a Volkswagon?
A - Farfromthinken

Q - What's the difference between a drum machine and a drummer?
A - You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once!

Q - How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A - Just one, so long as a roadie gets the ladder, sets it up and puts the bulb in the socket for him.

Q - What's the best way to confuse a drummer?
A - Put a sheet of music in front of him.

Q - What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
A - You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.

Q - If a dollar bill was laying in the centre of a room, and the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, a drummer with good time, and a drummer with bad time were standing in the corners, who would get the money?
A - The drummer with bad time since the other three don't exist.

Q - What do you get if you cross a drummer with a gorilla?
A - A really dumb gorilla!!!

Q - Why is a drum machine better than a drummer?
A - Because it can keep a steady beat and won't sleep with your girlfriend.

Q - How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A - Five: one to screw in the light bulb and four to talk about how much better Neil Peart would have done it!

Q - How can you make a drummer slow down?
A - Put a sheet of music in front of him

Q - How can you make that drummer stop?
A - Put notes on it!

Q - How can you tell when a drummer's at the door?
A - The knocking speeds up.

Q - How can you tell when a drummer's at the door?
A - He doesn't know when to come in.

Q - How is a drum solo like a sneeze?
A - You can tell it's coming, but you can't do anything about it.

Q - How can you tell when the stage riser is level?
A - The drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.

Q - How can you tell when the stage riser is NOT level?
A - The drool only comes out of one side of the drummer's mouth.

· A bloke walks into a shop and asks for a 50 watt Marshall amplifier and a Fender Stratocaster guitar. The shop assistant says "Excuse me sir, but you're a drummer aren't you?" The man says "How could you tell?" "Well this is a laundry mat" says the assistant.

Q - What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
A - "Hey, guys - why don't we try one of my songs? ..."

Q - What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?
A - Homeless.

Q - What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A - About four bars by the end of the song.

· Johnny says to his mom: "I want to be a drummer when I grow up."
Mom: "But Johnny, you can't do both."

Q - Did you hear about the drummer that could play a steady beat?
A - Me neither.

Q - How can you tell if a drummer has been doing the crossword?
A - All the squares have been coloured in.