I am a child again:

You read to us
Teach us to read,
We learn Psalms 23
You love picnics, nature walks,
Eating ice cream,
We drive you nuts (Sometimes or most of the time.)
I help you with all the little baby brothers & sisters.

I am a teen again:

You cope with my adolescent attitudes
You even apologise to me when we have an argument
You understand my insecurities
You listen
I try to act all smart & grown up
But I fall short & often hurt you with my words.

I am 18 again:

You become my friend,
We talk about love & life & grown up things
You cry when Tom & I go away on our travels
You give me poems & I cry too in secret.
You leave to another part of the world & I will only see you every few years
When I do see you, you always have gifts & we talk & enjoy our family together.
The time goes by quickly & I have to go home again.

I am expecting my first child again:

You give me things for the new baby,
You give me good, strong advice
You give me love & prayers

I am a young mom again:

You always remember each of my kids birthdays
You send little presents whenever you can
I start to learn how hard it is to be a mom & I finally understand your sacrifices
I hear you are sick with cancer & I am scared
You are so brave, you fight, you win,
You recover awhile
You visit me a few times & my kids get to spend time with Grandma

It is 2008 again:

You are sick again
This time it takes you down a very difficult road
You lose so much weight
You can't sleep well or eat or breathe
You are so brave though
And we hope you will recover soon.

It's Christmas day again:

Our hearts break
As the angels take you away
We can't believe you are really gone
We can't even grasp the gravity of our loss
We try to understand it all
But it's so hard

It's your funeral again:

I try to find some closure
But the hole in the ground seems so small for someone so big in my life.
We try to be brave
We try to enjoy the flowers & each other
And hope you are watching

It is mothers day again:

I can't post anything because I look at last years post
And it's so lame
I don't want to write more now when you are gone,
Than when you were here.
I wish I would've known.
I would've said it all,
All you meant to me
How beautiful you were.